The Insanity of Heretaunga College
by Louisiana
Summary: Do you know those stories where one person writes a bit, then the next one continues not knowing what the first person wrote and so on? Here are some of those.
1. Chapter 1: Tales of a Physics class

Do you know those stories where one person writes, like, a sentence or two and then folds over the paper, and tells the next person the last couple of words and then the next person writes some more and then the next person and so on? Well here are a collection of stories like those, written at school over the last two years by me and my friends. I should acknowledge all those who contributed, so here goes: me, Michelle, Danielle (Cheeze Monkey), Sarah, Kerrin, Penelope, Trish, Nerida, Annette, Lisa, Paul and Phil.  
  
Chapter 1: Tales of a Physics class  
  
Once upon a twice there was a purple turtle who was hyperactive and like eating big gooey lumps of...  
  
Pineapple flavoured cream donuts, but it wasn't cream in there or was it? Louise dared Andrew to find out if it was cream or not and it turned out to be...  
  
A very, very, excessively huge, gigantic, extremely large, humongous, ginormous, big whopper of a...  
  
Burger, tofu and lettuce. "Yuk!" said Annette who was a carnivore big time. She particularly liked eating human flesh and...  
  
Bits of fried chicken attached with super glue. Michelle didn't notice all of this because she was flying through the sky on a broomstick screaming, "I am such an...  
  
Angel disguised as a normal regular horny female teenager" whose job was to find the perfect...  
  
Shoes to wear that would always match whatever else you were wearing because they were magic shoes made by the wizard of...  
  
Jason who appeared from nowhere and suddenly it occurred to Louise that Jason wasn't a wizard but he really was a wicked Llama eating a peanut butter sandwich...  
  
But before the sandwich could be eaten, it was snatched up by Jason because he was very hungry, so hungry he could eat a...  
  
Calculator whole in one go, no one knows why or how, but this seemed humanly possible for him anyway. 


	2. Chapter 2: Tales of a Physics class cont...

Chapter 2: Tales of a Physics class continued  
  
Once upon a time in a far off land there was...  
  
An angular acceleration of 5.91 *10^-3 ms^-2 heading straight towards...  
  
Jason who was coated in chocolate, marshmallows, chocolate chips and...  
  
Strawberry-flavoured teabags that Michelle was smoking because she wanted to get high and run around screaming...  
  
"Help, help, I'm being chased by a fluffy pink duckling called Andrew..."  
  
who was sitting in the Physics room next to Michelle, who was a big giant prickly...  
  
Cactus, which had grown legs and arms but could only catch people and not move around which was good because...  
  
It was at the Summer Jam where everyone was jumping up and down and screaming at Good Charlotte and then suddenly ran on stage and said...  
  
"Oh my honey let's run away and get married!" "No!" I cried, "You're not my...  
  
Teddy bear", because it's little and brown and as fluffy as a bunny rabbit. 


	3. Chapter 3: Tales of a Physics class part...

Once upon a time there was a dwarf monkey called...  
  
Phil who is a big fat purple hairy hippo who was trying to take over the world...  
  
That was made of Parmesan cheese, and in that world lived a huge, pineapple- flavoured...  
  
Condom which was used to have cake with a purple flying monkey which could eat heaps of...  
  
Mushrooms and smoked a lot of parsley. Suddenly a dinosaur called Bob appeared and crushed all of the...  
  
Planets were in line and caused every male to go around having cake with everything with tits and enjoyed it...  
  
So much that he called out, "More! More!" and ran out the door in fear. He suddenly saw a pack of wild...  
  
Broomsticks which came out of Hogwarts and on one of them was Harry Potter and Malfoy which were racing...  
  
Down the street when he saw Phil wearing a green, stripy...  
  
Tiger which was made of chocolate with a strawberry filling...  
  
Like eating a entire crocodile in one gulp. Suddenly a flock of fluorescent yellow geese flew into a power pole and electrocuted themselves to death. The end. 


	4. Chapter 4: More Tales of a Physics class

One day in Physics class, Phil was poking me with Jason's pen...  
  
Which was black and made out of rubber and he stuck it up his...  
  
Top, where he had green hairs and a big blue hairy Llama...  
  
Called Jason...  
  
And then the world blew up for an inexplicable reason...  
  
And then a new world was created with the same Llama called Jason wearing a pink tutu with yellow...  
  
Glasses. All the toilets were full with screaming ladies because Andrew walked in...  
  
To the Physics room where Andrew was eating a poisonous brown piece of...  
  
Shit which was eaten by a girl called Emma who normally only eats frogs...  
  
Covered in mouldy blue mayonnaise from Pak'n'Save. "Yum!" he said and raced around desperately looking for something else to eat. He found an elephant, and bit its head off. Then the world blew up for no explicable reason, and they couldn't be bothered making another one. 


	5. Chapter 5: Even more goddanged Physics s...

Once upon a time there was a person called Jason who was totally in love with...  
  
My cat who liked eating large smelly piles of...  
  
Crap freshly laid. The flies were coming, the Queen was Annette...  
  
Who is an annoying bitching hermaphroditic donkey who has a fetish for transvestite..  
  
Who was a stupid fat cow who told everyone everyone's secrets, the exact reason Michelle didn't tell her about...  
  
Her home planet, a small oblong-shaped block of chocolate, where the world is ruled by a tribe a yellow elephants known as the...  
  
Queen 'B' with a carrot up her arse...  
  
With a big stick. He pushed it in further until she started screaming with passion and then he said...  
  
Dirty and Spooky! The next room blah blah blah...Louise and Michelle started chatting about...  
  
South Park and the episode where Cartman got an anal probe cos that was a funny episode but now it's sad because Kenny's not in it anymore and I missed a couple of episodes when I was in Germany which is really stink. The end. 


	6. Chapter 6: Ways to avoid learning Physic...

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away there was a chunky monkey from funky town who was hungry and wanted to eat someone so he went to see...  
  
Michelle naked with her legs wide open...  
  
He cried out "Yum!" and dived in for a feed. Suddenly...  
  
There was an explosion and Jason came into the room and said...  
  
"Holy shit, that's huge! I've never seen one that big in my life!" He was talking, of course, about the giant teddy bear sitting on the roof smoking parsley and eating...  
  
A banana and at 5 to 12 Phil got drunk and saw a beautiful lady or so he thought, it was actually Natalie, the fat ugly...  
  
Sheep with rubber horns poking out of her...  
  
Arse. They left the house and got caught by a pink donkey wearing a black corset with a blue lace...  
  
Bonnet that he was rotating around his head. Suddenly a tribe of killer fleas blew up the world and everyone said, "Oh shit I'm dead." 


	7. Chapter 7: The last of the Physics stori...

Once upon a time there was a chunky monkey who was purple with green polka dots who was called...  
  
Kiseon and he lived in a small cardboard box in the middle of Antarctica with a tribe of cannibalistic purple leopards. One day he went to see the Queen of the Leopards, called Michelle, and he told her...  
  
That he wanted some cake and lollies but instead they visited the zoo in which they had great fun...  
  
Flying around Jupiter on a fluorescent pink snowboard while eating a flock of schizophrenic seagulls. Then he decided...  
  
To fly away to another planet. He decided to go to Pluto where monkeys flew and they were all called Jason and they had purple hair with...  
  
Orange bits of Phil's homemade gel that he stuck up her...  
  
Arse and screamed "More! More!" and "Busted!" they got caught by a...  
  
Giant donkey-eating Platypus wearing a pink frilly corset and knee-high leather boots. "You're under arrest!" He cried and whacked him on the head with a softball bat. "Ow!" He yelled. "You're a...  
  
Slut and a whore who loves sleeping with Phil, Jason, Andrew, Kien and Kiseon. All at once...  
  
Appeared a monster called Brennan juggling a stack of chocolate-coated donuts and sucking on a...  
  
Doodle, which was very entertaining as she had never done anything like it before. The end. 


End file.
